I'm by nature a conservative person, at least when it comes to (most) of the big-ticket items. For the death penalty, against abortion, for lower taxes and smaller government - you get the idea. However, when it comes to the hotly contested issue of legalizing gay marriage in New York, the conservatives lose me.

The New York State Bar Association and the New York City Bar Association held a press conference last week to throw their collective support behind the push to legalize same-sex marriage.

"Without the right to marry, same-sex couples find it difficult - or literally impossible - to navigate legal issues that arise in everyday life," said New York State Bar Association President Stephen Younger.

It was one of many points the groups shared in making their case. While many arguments center on the emotional or moral sides, the bar - as one might expect - laid out a series of legal challenges that same-sex couples face if they are not allowed to legally wed. Those include:

• They may be unable to obtain employer-sponsored health insurance that would cover their entire family, and even where they are able to do so, they will be burdened with additional taxes on such coverage.

• If the couple's relationship breaks down, there is no legal right to equitable property distribution, maintenance, custody or visitation.

• Despite raising a child as a partnership and family unit, there is no legal presumption that the child is the child of both parents. If the couple breaks up, the biological parent can completely cut off the child from the non-biological parent; and the non-biological parent has no duty to support the child.

• They do not enjoy statutory inheritance rights. After the death of one partner, surviving partners must fend for themselves in situations where married couples are afforded legal protection. Even couples who draft a will remain uncertain as to whether their express wishes will suffice to fend off litigation.

• They cannot bring a claim for wrongful death.

• They cannot seek workers' compensation benefits.

• They do not enjoy a spousal privilege in legal proceedings.

• They do not enjoy spousal protections in bankruptcy proceedings.

The list goes on and on. My frustration with this debate comes from the hypocrisy being spewed from the other side. If those in opposition step forward and say they think same sex marriage is a disgusting abomination (a few of the fringe-types do say that), I would at least respect their honesty. But if I hear the argument that they are fighting to "preserve the sanctity of marriage" one more time, I'm going to throw up. I've voted Republican in every election since 1992 but the idea that Newt Gingrich, who has been married three times and is an admitted adulterer, is going to lecture anyone on the idea of what marriage should and should not be is offensive.

I think the New York Bar is spot on with its support of legalizing gay marriage. As for the folks who want to beat the "sanctity of marriage" drum, I'm curious about one thing. How sanctimonious can marriage really be in a country where exactly half of the states (including New York) legally allow cousins to marry. You read that correct. Blood relatives can marry in New York state. Your daughter can marry your brother's son and it is perfectly legal, but a same-sex couple can't get married because it would make some sort of mockery out of the institution?

The truth is, there are two primary groups that oppose same-sex marriage. The religious right and the corporate machine. The former believes it is a sin and goes against the teachings of the Bible, and the latter doesn't want to pay out millions in the various benefits that same-sex couples would be entitled to, should they be allowed to legally wed.

In the Bible I read, there is a whole lot of talk about not judging others and every person being a child of God, so the religious stand against it seems a touch off base. As for the corporate bean counters, despite the teachings of Gordon Gekko, greed isn't good.

Here's hoping New York state legalizes same-sex marriage - just not between cousins.

Matt Chandler: mchandler@bizjournals.com